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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Sunday, stream of consciousness.

Dishwasher humming. Back aching. Mum looking through the bible for a verse she needs. Rustling paper. Plastic-click of keys as she punches them. Thinking about today. Did anything happen? Fragments, nothing united. Stares avoided. Wide smiles. Oratory skills of the new preacher. Rain lighted by the car's lights. Kitchen people. Worrying about breaking a cup (again). A sausage roll falling down, catching alight in the oven. Running. Losing a hymn sheet. Finding it. Flushed faces, stray hairs. Waiting in line, coffee-time. Do I look okay? No earrings. That's why I feel incomplete! 10 minutes before we need to leave, dear (should have set the alarm clock). Squirt of hand sanitizer after leaving the rest home. Like loving the people in that room then washing them off. Singing. Do I sound okay? Getting the first note wrong - oh, it's so low. Now it's too high! Laughing hard. Laughter dying. Will my parents open the door? Leaning against the red bricks of the entrance. Waiting. Finally! Explanation time - no, I'll try not to do anything crazy when you've gone. Modeling proper feminine decorum. You can trust me. Quietness. Reflecting - did I really say that? Tomorrow morning I'll be horrified at myself. Cleaning tomorrow. That's right. Packing up. Boxes and tape. Should I make breakfast for my parents? I'll be too tired. I need to box up my room, leave. Where to? Have to rely on God. Have to. And gardening. Must weed the vege patch.

- Lydie

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

And every hour of sleep before midnight is worth two of those after.

12:25 am  
Blogger Theresa said...

Aww, I'm praying for ya! God will provide a place for you, :) remember the verse in the sermon on Sunday? All things work together for good.

Hey, how about this stream of consciousness for me today:
Woo, the All Whites! Arrgh, assignments! That ray of sunshine I felt when receiving my coeliacNZ pack this morning! GF gummy bears, can life be better than this?! Oh, crap, I've still got assignments to do. I feel sick, perhaps I'll just send in an incomplete assignment and learning journal. Is it work all of the work and stress I'm trying to put into it?
I think feeling sick is nerves, I've got a job interview this afternoon and I haven't prepared for it. *cries* Nerves and caffeine don't go together. Now I'm telling myself: "rely on God, girl! He's all powerful."


Thanks for the opportunity to rant.
You free on Friday? We should meet up and pray together. :)

12:51 pm  
Blogger Lydie said...

Thanks for that Theresa. You're totally right! I do keep telling myself that whatever happens, God's got it sorted and it'll be best for me. I just have to keep telling myself that! You have to, too. It's not just a once-off. Seems like those sermons we've been listening to recently have come just at the right time, ey.

Interesting how little parts of your day seem to make up your day when you think about them later on. I liked your stream of consciousness.
Yes! Good idea, let's meet up. Morning or afternoon best for you?

10:18 pm  
Anonymous FR said...

"Laughter dying". I did a bit of that too. It sounds terrible to anyone who's never experienced it!

"Have to rely on God". Need to do more of that.

12:27 am  
Blogger Andy said...

seriously impressive Lydie. I read it out loud and it was even better. I'm organising a little surprise for you...

10:22 am  

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