The Art Site

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Cheap kids for sale!

"My kids are evil."

I believed him, if they were anything like their dad who was standing in front of our table.

In case we hadn't heard him, he repeated himself.
"We need to be able to beat them up now and then" he said cynically. His face was dead serious. He looked like the type to beat up his kids, but his arms were so thin his kids wouldn't have been much harmed if he had beaten them up.
I showed him the bottom petition, which is trying to get the government to deal with child abusers.
"Why don't you sign this," I asked him, putting a pen within his reach.
"Do you want kids?" He asked me. I wondered if he'd even heard my question.
"Uh, no, I'm a wee bit young to be raising kids."
He looked at me.
"Do you want mine?"
"Yeah, ok."
"How much will you pay?"
was he serious? or a bit drunk?... maybe this is a bit of very deep sarcasm here.

At this point, the conversation became a bit unreal. Here was this guy who was trying to sell his kids to me, and slavery was abolished in 1807. He pursued the topic.

"Mmmmm, would $20 be all right?"
"No, $40."
"No, sorry, can't do that. If they're really evil, you should pay me to take them."
The man reached for his wallet.

"How much will you take?"
"$40."
"Ok, $20 now, and $20 next time I see ya. I live in Hokitika by the way."
"Are you sure you want to sell me your kids?"
"Yeah! they're really evil."

Uh oh, it looked like I was landed with a whole pile of kids. I hadn't even asked him how many there were: I might have been like Maria in the Sound of Music, "Seven children!"
And these were evil children.

This guy must have been using some seriously deep sarcasm.
I hope so, anyway. Maybe he spent all his life trying to palm off his kids on to the first willing buyer. Although, telling me his kids were "evil" wasn't a good marketing strategy.
Anyway, I wish him all the best in getting rid of his kids, they deserve a better dad.

7 Comments:

Blogger Andy Moore said...

Heheh, well-written Lyd!

3:39 pm  
Blogger Lydie said...

haha, yeah, with help from Ems...

4:59 pm  
Blogger Jono McGarvey said...

Hokitika? Would I know this chap?

11:07 am  
Blogger Lydie said...

If anyone's tried to sell you his kids, that's probably the man.

11:22 am  
Blogger Isabella Clinton said...

LOL, did someone really try to sell you their kids?

2:40 pm  
Blogger Lydie said...

he sure did... but I think he was a bit drunk!

4:14 pm  
Blogger Isabella Clinton said...

Far out! That is so funny and kinda creepy. How did you keep so calm? I most likly would of stood there stupified, staring at him!

4:59 pm  

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